Good or bad...it’s the end

It’s the end of 2009. I don’t have a word to define how it was. There were a lot of things that happened this year, some were good, others not the way I expected.

At the end of the last year I made a “I wish...” list. For a few months I forgot about it, but one day I found it and I was surprised to see that some of the things written there really happened; others are still wishes that maybe one day will come true (I can not influence some of them...so I’ll just have to wait and pray). Anyway I don’t want to be sad about the things that did not happen and I want to look at all the good moments and take this memories with me in the next year.

2009 was the year when:

- I graduated master and my second university (no more school for me :)

- I joined the HR Club from Mures

- I was elected G12 in Cristina’s group

- I visited Erika in Budapest (I really like this city – I never walked so much in 2 days)

- I attended 2 LPMs of AIESEC Tg.Mures

- I reconnected with some old friends and made new ones

- I bought myself a car (of course, FIESTA :)

- I got involved in some small “projects” at NG

- I was Conference Manager for RTS (one of the greatest AIESEC conferences I ever attended)

- I started CAE preparation courses

- I played paintball again (I really like it)

- I got involved in different projects at work

- ... I think there are others but right now don’t come into my mind

In a few hours a new year will start. It’s strange that for the first time in many years I don’t know what I will do. I don’t have big plans. There are things that I want but no concrete things to do. I’ll have to think and make my “Wish” list. I want to stay positive and hope that the things I want will come true.

A great experience

Three months ago I accepted a challenge, to be conference manager for RTS, the biggest regional conference for AIESEC Tg.Mures, AIESEC Cluj and AIESEC Sibiu that took place at the beginning of this month. It took me a while to decide but I’m glad I said “yes”. Beginning the work and the preparations I had a lot of frustrations regarding the conference, regarding the things we had to prepare (it was like I was again in AIESEC), but in the end it turned out to be a great experience. I really enjoyed the whole experience, I have been to many conferences and to many RTSs but I think this was the best one (maybe also because when you are an alumni you see things differently, and personally I really missed AIESEC, being there was a great feeling).

I liked the faci team – most of them I’ve meet just when I got there and the others I knew but I didn’t had the change to work with them before (with some exceptions). I think during the conference we truly were a team and we worked together, helping each other to make sure the delegates have a great experience but at the same time, we as well enjoy the conference. I missed working with people from AIESEC, who dedicate their time in preparing sessions, who put passion in what they do and who try to give their best in delivering training. I’m thankful for the great faci team because they contributed a lot to the success of this conference.

I enjoyed seeing some alumni from Cluj and Sibiu, even if I did not have much time to talk to them, is was nice seeing them there. I was a little bit upset because I was the only one from Mures, maybe next time we’ll be more.

I liked the fact the GN is working again. It is so great to see 3 LC shouting the GN shout, dancing the GN dance, working and having fun together.

I liked the energy and the atmosphere of the conference; I never saw so new members with so much energy and desire to learn. These are two things that I miss a lot (at work you don’t see such a thing). I liked the shouts, dances, roll calls, punishments (I don’t think I’ve ever been so much punished in a conferenceJ), the fun moments and all the people that were there.

In the end it was a great experience. After I left AIESEC I never thought I would have the chance to get involved again, and mostly live such a great experience. It seems once again that life is full of surprises.

Thank you AIESEC for such a great experience

My holiday

Even if my holiday was in August I decided to write a few things about it today. Why so late? I don’t know, maybe because in the last week I remembered the great time I had this summer, and maybe because autumn is here, and even if don’t like the hot weather during the summer, now I kind of miss it.

When I was in school the holiday was 3 months, and it was never enough. Now my holiday was 3 weeks. I could never imagine before I would have such a short holiday. But I did and it was nice. Beside I had some work to do I enjoyed my holiday, visiting my grandmothers, see new places and most of all waking up at 9 instead of 7 every morning (something I really miss these days).

In my short holiday I went to see Erika in Budapest. Even if I stayed only 2 days and a half it was nice. With a Bulgarian “guide” who didn’t know the city, as well, we got to see the most important places. I really enjoyed walking with the map in my hands, not knowing exactly the destination, asking for direction in English + a little bit of Hungarian + a little bit of German, getting lost, taking the wrong bus, not seeing that the big statue we were looking for was just above the hill (we were down), having the chance to spend time with Erika.

Of course, I could not miss LPM (this time Rock my LC), my favorite type of conference. With no idea how it is was going to be, with my car full of luggage and people I went to this conference as a party delegate. It’s a different feeling not having to prepare or attend sessions, not having an agenda, just wasting time and seeing the place, having fun with old friends and playing a stupid game (sorry, someone will call it the polite game). Now sleeping and not having water was not in my agenda but with it happened once again. Anyway I think it was a great conference, I had a great time, meeting all the trainees (I don’t think AIESEC Tg.M had so many trainees at once).

My holiday ended with a “team building” with the HR Club. We decided to go in a short of a camping to get to know each other better and to plan some activities. It was nice meeting new people, seeing that even if we work in different companies we have some things in common beside HR, and most of all we want to build something together.

Unfortunately every great thing finishes quickly. The most important thing is enjoy it. I enjoyed my summer holiday.

Old friends

As time passes by we change, we forget, we change our priorities and our interests. Being so busy we sometimes forget about people around us, about our friends, we get so caught into our work that we don’t have time to meet with our friends. I am trying to change this in my life. I am trying to reconnect with my friends whom I’ve missed. Since I graduated I did not have time to go out with my friend Magda, from university. After almost one year we managed to meet two weeks ago. It was so nice seeing her, we kept in contact on the internet, but it’s not the same, it was nice talking to her face to face. We realized how much we changed in the last year. I miss my colleagues from university, at least some of them, my friends. We are planning a meeting in the following weeks. Hope all of us will be able to attend.

Last week I’ve found on facebook an old friend, Jenny, the first American I’ve worked with when I was in LOC. It is like yesterday when we were going to the day-camp in town spending time with the kids, playing with them. I remember the team the two of us were having, 5 girls, all of them having behavior problems. I was difficult but nice helping those girls enjoying their summer even if it was just for one week. This was in 2002, can’t believe it was so long ago. In 2003 I’ve seen Jenny again, she came for the summer camps this time a different location, different kids, different teams but still we had a great time. We kept in contact for a while after she left but then none of wrote anymore. Now I’ve found out she has a son and she is moving with her family in Romania for a period of time to serve here and help the orphans. Can’t wait to see her again, to meet her family and reconnect. She is one of the persons that impressed me a lot when I’ve meet her, dedicated, passionate, always happy and willing to help.

I don’t want to let time destroy my friendships. I want to reconnect with my friends.

Lovely month - so far at least :)

Finally I’ve finished with my exams. I am a recent graduate in Project Management; soon I will get the master degree. I’ve finished with my second university as well but taking in consideration the big scandal that has been going on this week regarding the university I studied in I’ll have to see if I’m a graduate or not. Anyway no school for me in the next years. I can’t say I’m on holiday because I’m working and I will have some free days only in August, but still is great coming home from work and knowing I can go out, read, watch TV or just do nothing. I have been waiting for this feeling for some time.

At work we are really busy implementing some new systems. Two week ago we worked with a new talent management system. The director from US came to help us, it was nice seeing an American perspective. I realized once again that Romanian legislation is so different that in other countries, some things are not explained and you can just guess what is correct.

This week was busy again. We are working in implementing a performance management system and we contracted 3 consultants. They are alumni of AIESEC Cluj. It is really nice working with them, two of them I’ve meet when I was in AIESEC and it was so nice seeing them again. I like this period because it’s challenging and I’m learning new things, I’m changing my perspective over work.

In the last period I was wondering which is my place in this world. I was feeling confused about what to do with my life. Things are becoming clearer now. I’m starting something new with NG, I know this is what I want and I hope it will be great.

So far it has been a great month. I am only at its half. Waiting to see what’s next.

Surprised but also dissapointed

It is said that one discovers his/her true friends when deals with problems, because it is then when true friends stay by ones side. Well sometimes it does not even get there till you discover who your true friends really are. It hurts to see that people who you have worked with and who you have considered friends, don’t care about you anymore, forget the time that has passed and the things that you once had in common are liked washed away in their minds. I am disappointed to realize this, maybe I should have seen it before.

Surprisingly people in which you did not invested that much, people with you whom you did not keep in contact for long time, prove to be the ones who really care about you, the ones who are by your side and are willing to sacrifice their time to help you in need. I’m happy there are such people in my life and I’m willing to invest more in these friendships.

Aha moments

It has been a while since I took some time just for myself, just to think and do nothing. Sometimes we speak to much and we don't listen. Peole like to speak, talk about their problems and explain what they think but we forget an important aspect. We have 2 ears and just one mouth - and this is for a reason.

When you don't speak you can hear your thoughts and have some great AHA moments.

Today's AHA moments:

- sometimes we lose things, in order to appreciate their true value

- truth hurts, it hurts when you tell others what you really think about them but also when others say what they really think about you (especially if they are right and you know that)

- being independent is not the same with being free

I knew these things before but tonight it's like they were set deep inside my mind.

Enjoying life again

Sometimes even if big dreams come true you can not enjoy them at the maximum. Why? I was thinking about this lately because many good things happened to me and I couldn’t enjoy them. I found the answer. I have the tendency on focusing on the problems, on the things that don’t go very well or as I want, and not see the good things around me. I don’t want to do that any more, I want to enjoy life as it is with good and bad, take the good out of each experience.
I’m starting again to enjoy a walk in the park, to enjoy talking to my friends, to enjoy an ice cream on a Sunday afternoon, to enjoy Saturday and Sunday mornings at NG, to enjoy watching TV and reading a book, to enjoy life.

Rediscovering

I am still surprised by the time that passes so fast. It’s May already. Studying time is coming to an end. I have so many projects to do and so little time. I try to enjoy every second and don’t let myself frustrated by the lack of time, but enjoy what life gives me, enjoy great moments with people around me. On the 1st of May I went out with my friends from NG, it was such a beautiful day. Everyone was saying before “It will rain”, well someone up there loves us and gave us a really sunny and warm day. We were all surprised how warm and beautiful it was, what a great time we had admiring the nature, enjoying the fresh air and just relaxing, playing volleyball and talking.

Great time continued, on the 3rd I attended the weeding of two friends, Cristina and Ionel. I think it was the greatest weeding I have ever been to, different than others, really beautiful and fun. I still can not believe they got married. It was like yesterday when I attended their engagement party. Again time passes so fast. I am really happy for them and I wish them all the happiness that can be in this world because they really deserve it, they are great people. One more plus to their weeding was seeing some old friend, a friend from US came, Sarah which I haven't seen or spoke with since 2004. I never thought I will ever see her again but one can never know. The world is small.

I discovered there are also great persons at my working place. Our CEO decided he wants to know us better so he organizes meetings with the departments and the branches. On the 4th it was HRs turn together with the guys form IT and the internal auditor. After a meeting in the conference room where we shared our experience (realizing we have a lot of things in common – one being the fact that most of us studied something else than what we like or than what we do now) we went to dinner. We had so much fun, we laugh a lot, talking about different topics – not work related. I never knew how much fun I can have with my colleagues. Hope there will be some more meeting of this kind.

Relaxing is nice but you can not do that every day, you also need to work. I was really tired lately and I realized why, is not because of my schedule, of the work in general, is because of lack of passion. I started analyzing which are the things that motivate me, where is my passion in what I do. If I have no passion than the work won’t reach the expected results and I will be frustrated. Rediscovering passion at work of in doing projects for the university is taking some time, but I try to compensate that with doing things that I like, that give me energy, like driving my car, talking to people, delivering a training on HR, getting involved in a project at work – not HR related, attending some interesting meetings at work and at NG, reading.

If there is passion then there are results. I am trying to rediscover my passion daily because I want results in all the areas of my life.

April - mixture of feelings

April was for me again a mixture of feelings from bad one to great ones. There are so many things that happened, some brought joy and happiness others frustration, disappointment.
The month started with 2 more AIESEC-ers that joined the company I work in. The feeling of having them in the company was great, as well as attending the trainings they had. (I learned some things on finance J finally it’s not Chinese for me any more – at least some things). The same day they arrived, I went to Oradea for some recruitment interviews. I realized I haven’t been to Oradea before – or if I had it was when I was very little and I don’t remember anything. Anyway the town is really nice – at least what I’ve managed to see and they have great ice-cream J. The way was long and challenging but fun. Another fun thing was going with my new colleague from work bowling, even if I didn’t win this time t least I managed to beat the girls J, the guys maybe next time J
Another thing that happened in April was making my frustration list – which I’ve mentioned in my last post – frustrations about my job, my life, school and others. After making this list a friend of mine challenged me to find solutions for my frustrations and to make a list with the things that make me happy. At first I though I could get through those issues and everything was ok but then the frustrations came back. It’s really hard sometimes to get over some things when you see you have no control over them.
The next days were full with shopping – which I hate - (at the end it turned out to be ok and I found the things I was looking for, but still shopping is not my favorite thing to do) and preparations for Easter. This year Easter was for me a great celebration, actually more than just a celebration, I understood more the significance of this day and I experienced its true meaning. All this combined with some free time, visits to some relatives made everything more special.
Of course things can not always go in the right direction. There are always people around you who disappoint you, who don’t appreciate your work, who don’t care about you, about your feelings, who don’t take your ideas into consideration, and the list could go on. All this causes more pain if those persons are your friends, or you thought they were your friends. Anyway maybe it’s time to reanalyze the list with my true friends.
In the end I decided not to let myself influenced by this things and enjoy a meaningful conversation with a colleague from work spending together a beautiful day in the park; enjoy Alumni Night, seeing old friends and people from AIESEC, realizing that I really miss this organization and being there daily; having some interesting conversations with some friends in the last week.
The good part of this month was that when I don’t stress myself to much good things happen, things that I am surprised by because I have no influence over. Someone, up there, really, really, loves me and surprises me by making my dreams come true.

Making lists

Last week I started making a list of my frustration and I realized I have many. I was too scared to count them but I think they are over 30. They are frustration regarding my job, my life in general, school and many others, uncategorized. The good thing about the list is that when making it they were indeed many, but when reading them I realized which are the things that matter the most. Sometimes I stress myself to much with things that are not important. I don’t want to waste time anymore with those. I want to do the things that are important for me. Then I realized some of those things written there have a solution and I can solve them, some will probably have in the future and the others maybe won’t even matter in a few years.
In the end making a list with frustrations is good. Now I’m working on a list with the things that are good and work well in my life.

Mixture of feelings

I’m happy for Erika, she was elected MC VP TM in AIESEC Hungary. AIESEC Tg.Mures proved again it has valuable people that are appreciated abroad. After Romeo was elected in the MC of AIESEC Bahrain and Tamas in the national support team (NTT) it was Erika’s turn to get where she deserves. I wish them all a great experience this year, an experience that will help them grow, learn and make their dreams come true.

I’m nostalgic when thinking that time passes by so fast. It is like yesterday when I first got in an NGO. Yesterday I’ve seen Laura, an old friend from LOC. It was really nice seeing her, we talked about how great those times were, how much fun we had, and how nice were the camps. Afterwards I’ve spend some time with Cody and I’ve told her some funny stories from AIESEC, from all the LPMs I’ve been to. Can’t believe there are so many things that have changed but also so many things that are being “reinvented”. It’s recruitment time in AIESEC and on Monday I went to the Big Picture. All the memories I have from the past recruitments came back into my memory. I see some things being improved but unfortunately also mistakes that are done again and I’m sad to see that. Hope they will realize this and they will recover. Hope they will reach their objectives and new members will join and see how great AIESEC is.

I’m optimistic that this year will be a good one at work, that the situation we are going through this year will pass and will help us improve our activity.

I’m tired of learning and preparing projects for master but I have to. This year I will finish hopefully both with the second university and with the master. No more school for me in the following years.

I’m disappointed that many people around me are not open minded, that they are constrained by tradition and they do things just because “this is the way” having no explanation for the reason it is this way, not thinking by themselves and doing things just because others told them to do.

I’m scared in making some changes in my life, things that I’ve postponed so much, changes that must be done and that will change my life and will influence people around me.

I’m worried for some dear people that are not feeling very well. Hope there’s nothing bad with them and that they will get better.

I’m ready for the next days. I’m happy the weekend is coming and I will have some time to relax and hopefully meet with some friends.

I don’t want to plan any more. I just want to let myself surprised.

Favorite days of the week

Definitely my favorite days of the week are Saturday and Sunday and eventually Friday evening. Why? Because it’s then when I have some time for myself, I have time to relax and sleep some more in the morning (1 extra hour really counts). After busy weeks with work and study at master and other stuff the weekend is most welcomed.
Last weekend was great. On Saturday morning I meet again with some friends for an interesting study afterwards I went to Sovata to LPM (Local Planning Meeting) – it’s odd that now I have to explain what these acronym means, I was so used with people around me understanding every time what I say but now things have changed – on the way I saw some beautiful full rainbows. The conference was nice, I really like LPMs. I didn’t attend many sessions, I preferred staying and talking with people, respecting the tradition and making another movie, relaxing and enjoying a wonderful time. The conference gave me a lot of energy, especially the session when we wrote some words of encouragement to one another. Despite the lack of sleep I was full of energy when I came back, energy that helped me pass this week.
The last weekend ended with a great surprise, some friends prepared a special evening for us (the girls) for 8th of March. Good food, music and funny moments was the perfect combination for ending a great weekend.
Again it’s weekend, a different one, no conference but great time this morning with some friends again for an interesting study, time to sleep and relax. Tomorrow it’s a new Sunday that I want to enjoy. No plans yet but I hope it will be great.

Take the best side

Lately I was feeling sad and frustrated because many things in my life are not the way I expected. I was disappointed to see that my dreams don’t come true (maybe it’s not the time or maybe they just won’t happen). All these things made me feel bad.
On Sunday I took the decisions to do something about this. There are many things I can not change but there one thing that I can do. STOP thinking just about the bad things in my life (which in the end they might not be that bad – If I analyze them more in details) and START taking the good side of things. DO at least one good thing for others EVERY DAY.

At the end of day I want to think just about the things that made me smile, just about the moments when I was happy (even if it was just for while), to see the full side of the glass.

Leapsa

Reading my friends blogs I saw they all replied to leapsa. I remember I also received some and now it’s time to answer.
Reka gave me one last year: special people who influenced my life. Well … there are a lot of people that influenced my life, starting with my parents and continuing with my friends. I think all the people I' meet can have an influence, either an influence in doing something either an influence in not doing something, in not being like them. In conclusion there are many
Then I received one from Dorin, a different one: to vote my favorite trainer. Well I’ve done that before receiving this leapsa.
And last from Cami: what do I think about when I can sleep at night. Well … recently I did not have this problem, I am very tired and when I go to bed I feel asleep in less than 5 minutes. But when I can't sleep I like to think about things that I would like to do, I like to plan stuff.
Thank you guys for leapsa. I don’t think I would pass it on to someone in particular. If someone reads this post and wants to take it, go ahead.

Changing my "TO DO LIST"

Reading one day Romeo’s blog he asked what motivates someone. I gave some answers and since then I have been thinking about this, what motivates me and most of all how much time do I spend doing things that motivate me. I realize that the amount of time allocated for things that motivate me is quite small. I tend to do a lot of things but many of those are just things that I have to do and not things that I necessarily like. I have to change my time management system and start doing things that I like more often.

At the beginning of this year I thought a little bit about the things that I want to achieve this year. Now that a month has already past I realize I haven’t done that much. The only thing that I realized to do is meeting with some friends and having some great discussions with them. I realized how much talking to a friend means to me. I’m sorry for the last years when this was a not a priority. Now I want to change this.

Thank you for those who have been there for me in the last month, the ones I had some interesting discussions.

Thank you Cosmin for the coaching session, it made me realize that I can still involve in AIESEC.

Thank you Dorin for listening to me. I really needed that day to talk to someone.

Thank you Cami for taking some time to talk.

Thank you Romeo for an interesting discussion. If you are ready to start that club you can count on me.

Thank you Erika for a great talk. I’m sure that you will take the best decision. I support you no matter what one will be.

Thank you Bianca for a small talk, even if it was at the telephone. Hope we will have some time this next week to actually meet.

Thank you Roxy for your advice. I’m really happy and proud of you.

My “to do list” is changing from now on. Instead of things to do I want to write friends to meet and talk. Because friend matter more to me than things.

A new year, a new beginning

2008 passed incredibly fast. There are so many things that happened in 2008. I can’t believe it. I finished university, got a job, got out of AIESEC and became an alumna, took some decisions that changed my life completely. It was a great year and I hope this one will be even greater.

I still can’t believe my short holiday it’s over. It was short but nice. I had the chance to relax a little bit and spend a few days with my grandma. Then I had the chance to see some old friends. On the 24^th and on the 25^th I went carol singing with my friends from AIESEC. It was nice seeing Emese (back from Poland), Romeo (back from Hungary), Marius, my EB colleagues, also seeing the members from AIESEC, and spending again the Christmas Eve with them, talking and playing Mafia :)

Last Tuesday I left Mures and went to Saulia to spend 4 great days there. After planning and planning different games and activities, after preparing a lot of stuff the fun began. In a great atmosphere we started playing mime, watching movies, enjoying “Visez pentru tine”, presenting “Piratii din Caraibe”, showing our talents at karaoke, enjoying a short but fun hour of commercials (like we were at “Noaptea devoratorilor”), remembering 2008, then some of us trying to skate on the ice of the lake and some of us trying to get some sleep. I spend a great time there, relaxing and enjoying special moments with friends.

But what is nice finishes really fast. You come home and it’s like the whole world changes. You remember you have work to do, things to learn, exams to prepare for. Today I got back to work. It was nice seeing my colleagues but it wasn’t that nice working again, and most of all freezing in the office because there was no heat.

Anyway, I’m preparing for a new year, that I hope it will be better than the last one. Like every beginning I have a lot of dreams and plans, a lot of things that I want for myself and for people around me. I am ready to fight, to work, to climb the mountains that will come ahead, to make my dreams come true.