Lovely month - so far at least :)

Finally I’ve finished with my exams. I am a recent graduate in Project Management; soon I will get the master degree. I’ve finished with my second university as well but taking in consideration the big scandal that has been going on this week regarding the university I studied in I’ll have to see if I’m a graduate or not. Anyway no school for me in the next years. I can’t say I’m on holiday because I’m working and I will have some free days only in August, but still is great coming home from work and knowing I can go out, read, watch TV or just do nothing. I have been waiting for this feeling for some time.

At work we are really busy implementing some new systems. Two week ago we worked with a new talent management system. The director from US came to help us, it was nice seeing an American perspective. I realized once again that Romanian legislation is so different that in other countries, some things are not explained and you can just guess what is correct.

This week was busy again. We are working in implementing a performance management system and we contracted 3 consultants. They are alumni of AIESEC Cluj. It is really nice working with them, two of them I’ve meet when I was in AIESEC and it was so nice seeing them again. I like this period because it’s challenging and I’m learning new things, I’m changing my perspective over work.

In the last period I was wondering which is my place in this world. I was feeling confused about what to do with my life. Things are becoming clearer now. I’m starting something new with NG, I know this is what I want and I hope it will be great.

So far it has been a great month. I am only at its half. Waiting to see what’s next.

Surprised but also dissapointed

It is said that one discovers his/her true friends when deals with problems, because it is then when true friends stay by ones side. Well sometimes it does not even get there till you discover who your true friends really are. It hurts to see that people who you have worked with and who you have considered friends, don’t care about you anymore, forget the time that has passed and the things that you once had in common are liked washed away in their minds. I am disappointed to realize this, maybe I should have seen it before.

Surprisingly people in which you did not invested that much, people with you whom you did not keep in contact for long time, prove to be the ones who really care about you, the ones who are by your side and are willing to sacrifice their time to help you in need. I’m happy there are such people in my life and I’m willing to invest more in these friendships.

Aha moments

It has been a while since I took some time just for myself, just to think and do nothing. Sometimes we speak to much and we don't listen. Peole like to speak, talk about their problems and explain what they think but we forget an important aspect. We have 2 ears and just one mouth - and this is for a reason.

When you don't speak you can hear your thoughts and have some great AHA moments.

Today's AHA moments:

- sometimes we lose things, in order to appreciate their true value

- truth hurts, it hurts when you tell others what you really think about them but also when others say what they really think about you (especially if they are right and you know that)

- being independent is not the same with being free

I knew these things before but tonight it's like they were set deep inside my mind.

Enjoying life again

Sometimes even if big dreams come true you can not enjoy them at the maximum. Why? I was thinking about this lately because many good things happened to me and I couldn’t enjoy them. I found the answer. I have the tendency on focusing on the problems, on the things that don’t go very well or as I want, and not see the good things around me. I don’t want to do that any more, I want to enjoy life as it is with good and bad, take the good out of each experience.
I’m starting again to enjoy a walk in the park, to enjoy talking to my friends, to enjoy an ice cream on a Sunday afternoon, to enjoy Saturday and Sunday mornings at NG, to enjoy watching TV and reading a book, to enjoy life.

Rediscovering

I am still surprised by the time that passes so fast. It’s May already. Studying time is coming to an end. I have so many projects to do and so little time. I try to enjoy every second and don’t let myself frustrated by the lack of time, but enjoy what life gives me, enjoy great moments with people around me. On the 1st of May I went out with my friends from NG, it was such a beautiful day. Everyone was saying before “It will rain”, well someone up there loves us and gave us a really sunny and warm day. We were all surprised how warm and beautiful it was, what a great time we had admiring the nature, enjoying the fresh air and just relaxing, playing volleyball and talking.

Great time continued, on the 3rd I attended the weeding of two friends, Cristina and Ionel. I think it was the greatest weeding I have ever been to, different than others, really beautiful and fun. I still can not believe they got married. It was like yesterday when I attended their engagement party. Again time passes so fast. I am really happy for them and I wish them all the happiness that can be in this world because they really deserve it, they are great people. One more plus to their weeding was seeing some old friend, a friend from US came, Sarah which I haven't seen or spoke with since 2004. I never thought I will ever see her again but one can never know. The world is small.

I discovered there are also great persons at my working place. Our CEO decided he wants to know us better so he organizes meetings with the departments and the branches. On the 4th it was HRs turn together with the guys form IT and the internal auditor. After a meeting in the conference room where we shared our experience (realizing we have a lot of things in common – one being the fact that most of us studied something else than what we like or than what we do now) we went to dinner. We had so much fun, we laugh a lot, talking about different topics – not work related. I never knew how much fun I can have with my colleagues. Hope there will be some more meeting of this kind.

Relaxing is nice but you can not do that every day, you also need to work. I was really tired lately and I realized why, is not because of my schedule, of the work in general, is because of lack of passion. I started analyzing which are the things that motivate me, where is my passion in what I do. If I have no passion than the work won’t reach the expected results and I will be frustrated. Rediscovering passion at work of in doing projects for the university is taking some time, but I try to compensate that with doing things that I like, that give me energy, like driving my car, talking to people, delivering a training on HR, getting involved in a project at work – not HR related, attending some interesting meetings at work and at NG, reading.

If there is passion then there are results. I am trying to rediscover my passion daily because I want results in all the areas of my life.

April - mixture of feelings

April was for me again a mixture of feelings from bad one to great ones. There are so many things that happened, some brought joy and happiness others frustration, disappointment.
The month started with 2 more AIESEC-ers that joined the company I work in. The feeling of having them in the company was great, as well as attending the trainings they had. (I learned some things on finance J finally it’s not Chinese for me any more – at least some things). The same day they arrived, I went to Oradea for some recruitment interviews. I realized I haven’t been to Oradea before – or if I had it was when I was very little and I don’t remember anything. Anyway the town is really nice – at least what I’ve managed to see and they have great ice-cream J. The way was long and challenging but fun. Another fun thing was going with my new colleague from work bowling, even if I didn’t win this time t least I managed to beat the girls J, the guys maybe next time J
Another thing that happened in April was making my frustration list – which I’ve mentioned in my last post – frustrations about my job, my life, school and others. After making this list a friend of mine challenged me to find solutions for my frustrations and to make a list with the things that make me happy. At first I though I could get through those issues and everything was ok but then the frustrations came back. It’s really hard sometimes to get over some things when you see you have no control over them.
The next days were full with shopping – which I hate - (at the end it turned out to be ok and I found the things I was looking for, but still shopping is not my favorite thing to do) and preparations for Easter. This year Easter was for me a great celebration, actually more than just a celebration, I understood more the significance of this day and I experienced its true meaning. All this combined with some free time, visits to some relatives made everything more special.
Of course things can not always go in the right direction. There are always people around you who disappoint you, who don’t appreciate your work, who don’t care about you, about your feelings, who don’t take your ideas into consideration, and the list could go on. All this causes more pain if those persons are your friends, or you thought they were your friends. Anyway maybe it’s time to reanalyze the list with my true friends.
In the end I decided not to let myself influenced by this things and enjoy a meaningful conversation with a colleague from work spending together a beautiful day in the park; enjoy Alumni Night, seeing old friends and people from AIESEC, realizing that I really miss this organization and being there daily; having some interesting conversations with some friends in the last week.
The good part of this month was that when I don’t stress myself to much good things happen, things that I am surprised by because I have no influence over. Someone, up there, really, really, loves me and surprises me by making my dreams come true.

Making lists

Last week I started making a list of my frustration and I realized I have many. I was too scared to count them but I think they are over 30. They are frustration regarding my job, my life in general, school and many others, uncategorized. The good thing about the list is that when making it they were indeed many, but when reading them I realized which are the things that matter the most. Sometimes I stress myself to much with things that are not important. I don’t want to waste time anymore with those. I want to do the things that are important for me. Then I realized some of those things written there have a solution and I can solve them, some will probably have in the future and the others maybe won’t even matter in a few years.
In the end making a list with frustrations is good. Now I’m working on a list with the things that are good and work well in my life.

Mixture of feelings

I’m happy for Erika, she was elected MC VP TM in AIESEC Hungary. AIESEC Tg.Mures proved again it has valuable people that are appreciated abroad. After Romeo was elected in the MC of AIESEC Bahrain and Tamas in the national support team (NTT) it was Erika’s turn to get where she deserves. I wish them all a great experience this year, an experience that will help them grow, learn and make their dreams come true.

I’m nostalgic when thinking that time passes by so fast. It is like yesterday when I first got in an NGO. Yesterday I’ve seen Laura, an old friend from LOC. It was really nice seeing her, we talked about how great those times were, how much fun we had, and how nice were the camps. Afterwards I’ve spend some time with Cody and I’ve told her some funny stories from AIESEC, from all the LPMs I’ve been to. Can’t believe there are so many things that have changed but also so many things that are being “reinvented”. It’s recruitment time in AIESEC and on Monday I went to the Big Picture. All the memories I have from the past recruitments came back into my memory. I see some things being improved but unfortunately also mistakes that are done again and I’m sad to see that. Hope they will realize this and they will recover. Hope they will reach their objectives and new members will join and see how great AIESEC is.

I’m optimistic that this year will be a good one at work, that the situation we are going through this year will pass and will help us improve our activity.

I’m tired of learning and preparing projects for master but I have to. This year I will finish hopefully both with the second university and with the master. No more school for me in the following years.

I’m disappointed that many people around me are not open minded, that they are constrained by tradition and they do things just because “this is the way” having no explanation for the reason it is this way, not thinking by themselves and doing things just because others told them to do.

I’m scared in making some changes in my life, things that I’ve postponed so much, changes that must be done and that will change my life and will influence people around me.

I’m worried for some dear people that are not feeling very well. Hope there’s nothing bad with them and that they will get better.

I’m ready for the next days. I’m happy the weekend is coming and I will have some time to relax and hopefully meet with some friends.

I don’t want to plan any more. I just want to let myself surprised.

Favorite days of the week

Definitely my favorite days of the week are Saturday and Sunday and eventually Friday evening. Why? Because it’s then when I have some time for myself, I have time to relax and sleep some more in the morning (1 extra hour really counts). After busy weeks with work and study at master and other stuff the weekend is most welcomed.
Last weekend was great. On Saturday morning I meet again with some friends for an interesting study afterwards I went to Sovata to LPM (Local Planning Meeting) – it’s odd that now I have to explain what these acronym means, I was so used with people around me understanding every time what I say but now things have changed – on the way I saw some beautiful full rainbows. The conference was nice, I really like LPMs. I didn’t attend many sessions, I preferred staying and talking with people, respecting the tradition and making another movie, relaxing and enjoying a wonderful time. The conference gave me a lot of energy, especially the session when we wrote some words of encouragement to one another. Despite the lack of sleep I was full of energy when I came back, energy that helped me pass this week.
The last weekend ended with a great surprise, some friends prepared a special evening for us (the girls) for 8th of March. Good food, music and funny moments was the perfect combination for ending a great weekend.
Again it’s weekend, a different one, no conference but great time this morning with some friends again for an interesting study, time to sleep and relax. Tomorrow it’s a new Sunday that I want to enjoy. No plans yet but I hope it will be great.

Take the best side

Lately I was feeling sad and frustrated because many things in my life are not the way I expected. I was disappointed to see that my dreams don’t come true (maybe it’s not the time or maybe they just won’t happen). All these things made me feel bad.
On Sunday I took the decisions to do something about this. There are many things I can not change but there one thing that I can do. STOP thinking just about the bad things in my life (which in the end they might not be that bad – If I analyze them more in details) and START taking the good side of things. DO at least one good thing for others EVERY DAY.

At the end of day I want to think just about the things that made me smile, just about the moments when I was happy (even if it was just for while), to see the full side of the glass.

Leapsa

Reading my friends blogs I saw they all replied to leapsa. I remember I also received some and now it’s time to answer.
Reka gave me one last year: special people who influenced my life. Well … there are a lot of people that influenced my life, starting with my parents and continuing with my friends. I think all the people I' meet can have an influence, either an influence in doing something either an influence in not doing something, in not being like them. In conclusion there are many
Then I received one from Dorin, a different one: to vote my favorite trainer. Well I’ve done that before receiving this leapsa.
And last from Cami: what do I think about when I can sleep at night. Well … recently I did not have this problem, I am very tired and when I go to bed I feel asleep in less than 5 minutes. But when I can't sleep I like to think about things that I would like to do, I like to plan stuff.
Thank you guys for leapsa. I don’t think I would pass it on to someone in particular. If someone reads this post and wants to take it, go ahead.

Changing my "TO DO LIST"

Reading one day Romeo’s blog he asked what motivates someone. I gave some answers and since then I have been thinking about this, what motivates me and most of all how much time do I spend doing things that motivate me. I realize that the amount of time allocated for things that motivate me is quite small. I tend to do a lot of things but many of those are just things that I have to do and not things that I necessarily like. I have to change my time management system and start doing things that I like more often.

At the beginning of this year I thought a little bit about the things that I want to achieve this year. Now that a month has already past I realize I haven’t done that much. The only thing that I realized to do is meeting with some friends and having some great discussions with them. I realized how much talking to a friend means to me. I’m sorry for the last years when this was a not a priority. Now I want to change this.

Thank you for those who have been there for me in the last month, the ones I had some interesting discussions.

Thank you Cosmin for the coaching session, it made me realize that I can still involve in AIESEC.

Thank you Dorin for listening to me. I really needed that day to talk to someone.

Thank you Cami for taking some time to talk.

Thank you Romeo for an interesting discussion. If you are ready to start that club you can count on me.

Thank you Erika for a great talk. I’m sure that you will take the best decision. I support you no matter what one will be.

Thank you Bianca for a small talk, even if it was at the telephone. Hope we will have some time this next week to actually meet.

Thank you Roxy for your advice. I’m really happy and proud of you.

My “to do list” is changing from now on. Instead of things to do I want to write friends to meet and talk. Because friend matter more to me than things.

A new year, a new beginning

2008 passed incredibly fast. There are so many things that happened in 2008. I can’t believe it. I finished university, got a job, got out of AIESEC and became an alumna, took some decisions that changed my life completely. It was a great year and I hope this one will be even greater.

I still can’t believe my short holiday it’s over. It was short but nice. I had the chance to relax a little bit and spend a few days with my grandma. Then I had the chance to see some old friends. On the 24^th and on the 25^th I went carol singing with my friends from AIESEC. It was nice seeing Emese (back from Poland), Romeo (back from Hungary), Marius, my EB colleagues, also seeing the members from AIESEC, and spending again the Christmas Eve with them, talking and playing Mafia :)

Last Tuesday I left Mures and went to Saulia to spend 4 great days there. After planning and planning different games and activities, after preparing a lot of stuff the fun began. In a great atmosphere we started playing mime, watching movies, enjoying “Visez pentru tine”, presenting “Piratii din Caraibe”, showing our talents at karaoke, enjoying a short but fun hour of commercials (like we were at “Noaptea devoratorilor”), remembering 2008, then some of us trying to skate on the ice of the lake and some of us trying to get some sleep. I spend a great time there, relaxing and enjoying special moments with friends.

But what is nice finishes really fast. You come home and it’s like the whole world changes. You remember you have work to do, things to learn, exams to prepare for. Today I got back to work. It was nice seeing my colleagues but it wasn’t that nice working again, and most of all freezing in the office because there was no heat.

Anyway, I’m preparing for a new year, that I hope it will be better than the last one. Like every beginning I have a lot of dreams and plans, a lot of things that I want for myself and for people around me. I am ready to fight, to work, to climb the mountains that will come ahead, to make my dreams come true.

What happened lately

Reading some friend’s blogs I realized what they write is completely different from what I write. They like to analyze things, to challenge others to write their opinion, to write about interesting things they find out. My blog is different I like to write about things that happen to me, about my weekends, about my friends.

So, in order to continue with my “tradition” I want to write about what happened lately. I like to write about this here, because it’s like keeping an online “diary” in which I can look and remember, it’s like my “online agenda”, but a different agenda, not with hours and schedules but with feelings and impressions.

Last month I attended Partners & Alumni Night in AIESEC Tg.Mures. It was a great event, celebrating 8 years of @ in Tg.Mures, celebrating the great results the LC had this year, seeing old friends, being there as an alumna, not as an organizer. All the things remembered me about the great time spent in AIESEC.

The next day continued with a great youth conference that I attended in Mures, a conference that made me wonder if I am just a young person or a young person with an impact. I want to be a young person with an impact in all that I do.

December continued with great time spent in AIESEC. I was chair for the LCC. It was strange. Just a few months ago I was writing on facebook with Romeo, Marius and Emese the fact the we want to run for EB J We were discussing for what should we run this time, if should try something new or run for the same position. Of course it was just a joke, but in a way I wish it weren’t. Anyway I was chair, and it was nice seeing people in front presenting their strategy for the coming year, seeing them nervous. I remembered I was just like them a few years ago.

The last great thing that happened was the Christmas Party we had with the company in Sovata. Even though it’s not Christmas yet, we decided to celebrate and we had a party for the staff. I was involved in organizing it. It turned out to be a great party, except some few details that you can not control. We had fun organizing it and presenting the events during the party, listening to the band and last but not least going to a foster house and taking some presents for the kids that live there. Seeing the kids enjoying their presents almost brought tears into our eyes. It made us all realize what’s important in this world. It was great lesson and I’m sure we all learned something from it.

State of mind

Lately I tend to “copy” the state of mind people, around me, have. I was always trying not to be so influenced by what others are feeling but lately I realized sometimes it is impossible, at least for me.

Last week a colleague of mine found out she is going to be promoted in a much higher position. I got really happy when I found out because I know how much she works and how much she deserves this. She was happy and excited but at the same time a little bit scared because it’s going to be really hard, she has to learn a lot and some people won’t offer her the support she needs. This made me also a little bit scared for her because I want her to succeed but I know how things work and how hard it will be for her.

On Friday I went to Sovata with a colleague. It was the first time I was driving the company’s car. At the beginning I was a little bit scared because the weather was foggy, but my friend was really excited so I got excited too. In the end our small trip turned out to be a great experience.

Today I went to Alba for some interviews for work. Before coming home, my colleague received some bad news and he was sad and stressed all the way back. Even if I tried to keep my optimism I couldn’t and I got sad as well, not being able to encourage him, realizing there is nothing we can do to change the situation. The way back was the longest way ever, lot of silent moments, lot of eagerness to get home.

It’s strange how I tend to get the mood people around me have. In a way this is good if people around me are happy and excited about something and I’m not, but if they are sad it’s really hard for me to encourage them and offer them my support without getting sad as well.

Great weekends

Saturday and Sunday became lately my favorite days of the week J. I like the week also but weekend is great, I have the chance to relax, go out with my friends, and spend time with people. My last weekends were great.

It all started with a great weekend in Saulia, a great weekend that at first I didn’t want to attend, but now I am so happy I did. There were to great days, were I had the chance to reanalyze my life, to set my priorities. There were two great days for self reflexion but not only.

The next weekend was again a great one, a trip to Lugoj to visit my cousins (Patricia & Ximena) and a small trip to Timisoara, to visit the town. I enjoyed this weekend a lot, because besides driving almost all the way and seeing my favorite cousins I also meet in Timisoara with Andreea. Even if it was just for one hour, it was great to see her and talk with her.

The next weekend it was Ioana and Sanda’s birthdays and it was fun going with Roxy and trying to buy some gifts for the girls, hard to choose something for them but fun J.

Then there was a weekend full of AIESEC interviews, 64 new members joined AIESEC TGM and I had the chance to interview some of them. I remembered the times I was doing recruitment, the time I was in AIESEC, all the great moments I’ve spend there.

And last, this weekend, with a small AIESEC party, a great chance to see the new members, to see old members, to see my friends but also with a big possibility to relax J

I realized lately how much people mean to me, how important are my friends in my life. I want for the future my friends to be a priority in my life and to spend as much time as possible with them, no matter if it’s during the weekend or during the week.

Where is the passion?

I am a little bit disappointed of the people around me, of the people I work with. It seams that my system of values is totally different than the one people around me have.

After being in two NGOs for so long it is hard to see the difference between an NGO and an organization. Both in LOC and AIESEC people that worked there were full of passion for their work, were interested in the organization growth, were giving their best to make things right. We didn’t work there for money, we were just volunteers but we had passion, we had fun while doing things and we were interested in people around us and in our development, we wanted always more.

Now at work I see also the not so bright side. People are not so interested in the growth of the company; don’t put passion in their work. They just come to work, do their job and then go home; they are not interested how the company they work in is positioned on the market. I have the feeling people come to work, just to have a job and earn some money. In rest no interest in personal or professional development. Some will probably even ask “What’s that?”. I am a little bit disappointed to see that people like the routine, do their job but don’t care if things are not done on time. An old saying says “Don’t leave for tomorrow what you can do today”; well some don’t leave for tomorrow but for the day after tomorrow. And it’s sad to see that. Of course there are also exceptions, people that work hard, put passion and care about others and about the growth of the company. I admire these people and they are really some role models for me.

I wonder how are things in other companies.
Anyway 'till I'll found out on my own hope I won’t loose my passion for the things I like.

Good to great

I have started to read at work a book, called “Good to great”, about growth. Even if I didn’t have time to read many pages from it, the title made me think about my development, about my growth, about my way to becoming from good GREAT both in my personal and professional life. Today I was reading a post on Romeo’s blog about who helps you in life and I remembered all the persons that had an impact in my life, all the persons that contributed to the person I am today.

I am really thankful to these persons because they helped me a lot, they helped me grow, showed me a better world, empowered me.

So… thank you

Mom, dad, grandparents for your love

Mona for showing me a great way that changed my life forever

Brian for showing me how great life can be when you are on the right path

Alin for challenging me to take opportunities and face my fears

EB 05-06 for great moments (Sanda for being there to talk to at any hour; Radu for making me laugh; Dragos for making me see the whole picture when if comes to do something; Suciulica for listening to me when I was complaining)

EB 06-07 for even greater moments, for great result (Bori for making me smile; Emese for making me see the bright side of things; Marius for being a good leader and offering me trust and support; Romeo for making me see how important people are and how important is to fight for what you want; Roxy for being my best friend, always there for me, to listen, to offer an advice)

Andreea for being such a great friend

Cristina for encouraging me never to give up and fight for what is truly important, for following my passion

Erika for continuing my dream

and the list could go on and on

Thank you all for all these things and for much more.

Thank you for helping me getting closer to the mountain top.

A place that changed my life

This post is dedicated to a place (an organization actually) that changed my life, and that I was really thinking about lately. It is the first organization I interacted with, the first place where I was a volunteer, the first place where I discovered that this world is not only about us (me, my family, my friends and some acquaintances), but it’s also about the people and things that are around us and that sometimes we don’t see or don’t want to see.

This organization is LOC (Livada Orphan Care), an American Romanian organization that has some programs for orphans. I joined this organization in 2002 when I was in high school. At first I joined it because I just wanted to something extra school but soon the experience that I lived there changed my life. I realized how lucky I am of having a family, friends, food, cloths, a place to live, the possibility to go to school and other small stuff that for us seem normal to have. I realized how much joy 2 hours/week spent with them (the orphans) can bring in their hearts, how much it means for them to give them a hug, to smile to them, to play with them, to share our time.

Besides those, there was one thing that impressed me a lot: the people involved, the volunteers from USA and Romania, people always smiling and willing to help, always ready and full of joy, always putting the kids on the first place, always full of energy, dedicating their time and sharing their love.

I spent there almost 3 years, 3 great years of my life that helped me a lot develop myself personally. I miss that place, things there have changed a lot and many of the people I worked with are no longer there; some went back to USA, others are in different towns, others still in Tg.Mures but, like me, taking other paths in their lives. There are still many activities for the kinds every summer and I’m glad about that, I’m glad that there are still people willing to bring a smile on those kids’ faces.

I will never forget that place, a place that changed my life, people and experiences that brought a contribution to who I am today.

In the system

Today I joined the system, as some like to call it; today I had my first official day at work. I will be working on HR a company in Tg.Mures. It was really nice "first day", it was a day that made me realize how time goes by and our lives change.

It’s strange how we like to play when we are little, how we like to pretend we are adults and we have different jobs but when we are adults we would like to be again kids and play, have no responsibilities and just live the days as they come, never worrying about the future because our parents are there.

Unfortunately or maybe luckily we can not turn back time we can just enjoy the present and plan the future. Now we can take our own decisions and work hard to reach our objectives.

As many others colleagues and friends I started a new beginning, hopefully a really nice one because I like the things that I will do (as far as I had the chance to analyze my job description).

Wishing all my friends great “beginnings”